Motherhood: Love/Hate Feelings of Being a Stay-at-Home-Mum (SAHM)

3 months after the arrival of QW, I made the choice to be a housewife/home maker/ SAHM. For someone who had been in the work force for more than 10 years, it was a HUGE change.

Sample reactions (in Singlish aka Singapore-English) of those who got to know that I am a SAHM: "Wah, so shiok no need to work. Enjoy life at home.", "Envy you, got husband support you.", "Wah, you rich leh. That's why no need to work.", "Why don't leave her with your/his parents or at childcare?".

Some are concerned that I may develop depression due to boredom of staying at home. Err... thanks for the concern but SAHM does not mean I am rooted to the house and never go out. Still, I will heed your advice and stay sane by catching up with friends/pursue my hobbies/go out for walks etc.

Some envy me because I escaped from office settings. Other are envious because they think that I am damn filthy rich to be able to forgo my salary. There are also those who think that I will be damn free or I do nothing the whole day. Well, I can only say that life is always greener on the other side of the pasture.

If you think about it carefully, I am at my "work place" almost 24/7 and earn (if lucky) a 3-digits pay out of my freelance projects. If I am not breastfeeding QW, I am wiping the floor, doing the laundry, cooking, etc. How does that sound to you now?

By the way, thank you very much for asking, but I don't believe in leaving her in the hands of others (parents/childcare/maid, etc.). I know it's a norm/choice to send kids off to be taken care of by someone else nowadays. I made choice not to be part of the current norm of being a full-time working mother but an olden days' norm of being a SAHM.

My apologies if I offended anyone. But, why should I leave her in someone else's hands after making the choice to bring her to the world? Why should I miss out being one of the front row audiences of her milestones?

So, how do I feel now? Poor yet rich, good yet bad, secure yet insecure, love yet hate at the same time. Here are some of the reasons behind my conflicting feelings:

Love:

• We bicker communicate more since we are both at home (he mostly works from home).
• We get to witness QW's milestones together :)
• We get to capture moments/photos of QW which she will hate us for in future =P
• We have a higher chance of eating home cooked meals.
• We get to enjoy better working environment since I am around to do the house work.
• I can learn new things at my own pace and usually don't have to report my progress!
• I can pursue my own interests: baby wearing, blogging, cooking, etc.
• I can go on a holiday without waiting for boss's approval. Yippee!

Hate:

• We have A LOT LESS MONEY! *feeling very insecure financially* *crossing fingers that we won't get booted out of the house due to rising SIBOR!*
• I get to ogle at stuff more often since I have to watch my finances closely. Alright, it's more like I can't afford to buy most of the stuff which I used to.
• We gave up our car and the nearest bus stop is 5 mins away. Oh, that bus stop has only one bus and a night rider, with a typical waiting time of about 15 to 20 mins.
• People assume that he paid for our stuff *roll eyes* I am not a Tai Tai!!! and the diapers, rompers, etc. are paid out of my pathetic freelance pay.
• I get frustrated if I am not given me-time. VERY frustrated.
• I doubt my own market value.
• I think/feel that people dismiss my opinion because I am just a housewife.
• I still hate to do house work. Period. And there is no end to it! *Grrr...*

So before you sign up as housewife or agree to your wife being a housewife, be careful what you are in for.

All the best and have a great day/night ahead!