Friday, April 17, 2015

Motherhood: I Worry (Excessively)...

If you are genuinely concerned about my mental health after reading this article, I thank you for your concerns. If it is of any comfort, I am learning to let go. *Tunes from Frozen running through my head: *Let it go~ Let it go~..."* If not, I hope I have provided some humour for you.

I worry.

Excessively.

That's my hubby's conclusion. His usual lines to me lately are: "Relax.", "So what if xyz (undesirable event)? She will be fine.", "Then what you want to do?", etc.

So, what are my worries? Mostly about my adequacy as a parent or things which might affect QW's well being.

Could this be the so-call new parent syndrome? I doubt it because my hubby, who is also a new parent, is the exact opposite of me. An extremely cool parent.

I think it is just me... A natural worrywart...

But hey, at least I recognise it. That's a start to being more cool, right?

Anyway, my worry list is pretty long (and still growing). So, before I ended up writing a x million pages of my worries and bore you to hell, I will just share 5 of them here:

1. Insect (especially mosquito) bites. *Haha~!* 

Err... Did you laugh because you think this is a joke?

Not for me... *Sigh*

My imagination runs wild whenever I spot an insect bite mark on any part of her cute body: "Is it Aedes??? Chikungunya???", "Is it itchy??? Painful?"

Initially, I will stay up to "hunt" the insect (usually mosquitoes) down. That took a toll on me. I will be very drained the day after the Great (mozzie) Hunt due to lack of sleep.

Gosh! I sounded like the Helicopter Parent[1] (point 10). Eww... I really should kick this habit. I really want to be the Consultant *pout*.

2. I am an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Alright~ not the very extreme type that will take out a piece of tissue to wipe every tableware (including table) when I go out for a meal. I am those who will take a shower once I reach home even if I only went downstairs to buy a loaf of bread.

So, naturally?, I am worried whether the surrounding is clean enough for QW.

"Let her crawl on the carpet (in a shopping mall).", "I've seen babies crawling on factories' floor. Shall we?", "3-seconds-rule! I gotta quickly feed her that snack (which was dropped on the table or floor) before it's too late!"

Guess who said the above? You are probably right. My hubby said those.

I cringed every single time he said something along that line. I don't think I will overcome this anytime soon. It has been pretty much in-built for a looonnnggg time. *Sigh...*

3. "Let her fall. Then, she'll learn and grow up.", "Let her touch. She'll take her hands off if she feels that it's hot."

Ya. That's my hubby again. His opposite, that is me, is on the look-out to prevent QW from any form of injury. When the defence slackens (due to momentarily lack of focus) and QW falls onto cushioned ground, she would wail loudly because she is in shock from the fall. As for me? I will just be mulling in remorse as her siren goes off.

4. "Is she eating enough?", "But she doesn't open her mouth when she's being fed. How?", "Can she eat this or that?", "How much should she be eating now?"

That's me now. I always wonder whether QW is eating enough.

It does not help me to feel less worried by flipping books and asking doctors. Most of the suggested meal plans are written in gibberish to me as I cannot grasp how much 1 serving or 1 portion actually is. When I do understand the jargons, the portions suggested are way above what QW is consuming. Hence, my panic meter is always on the red alert.

I only felt better recently when I chance upon an article by ElloHello.com[2]. The website sounds shady? Maybe it is. But, the article used materials from Babycenter.com. That website is pretty reputable and trustworthy. Hence, I guess the article might be pretty dependable.

5. Initially, I would not check the ingredients of baby products. Why would I be anal about the usage of such products (for example, cold rub, Mopiko, prickly powder, etc.) when I have been applying and my parents had applied them on me liberally throughout my whole life?

I did become anal after reading an article posted on Singapore Baby[3]. It was an article on the side effects of the use of essential oils, ingredients in ointments (such as camphor) and ingredients in baby powder (such as talcum).

My bad. I should not have read it even if the title looked super attractive to me. On top of that, I do recall that especially when QW was under 1 year old, her paediatrician may at times advice us to let the virus run its course instead of prescribing medicine. That, to me, is a sign that there might be some truth in that Singapore Baby's article.

I shall end the list here. There you go, just the tip of the (worry) iceberg.

Do note that I am still working towards being more cool and less of a worrywart.

So please, don't catch the worry-bug from me...

References:
  1. Love and Logic - Three Types of Parents
  2. ElloHello.com - Is Your Child Eating Enough?
  3. Singapore Baby - Five Everyday Household Substances That Can Kill Your Kids in Minutes

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